The seagull

 30MIN

PROMPT: THE SEAGULL

PLAN:

a seagull who's hungry 

a birthday party of a snotty nosed toddler 

climax-seagull and toddler fight over a cupcake, seagull tries to be polite but wees on her, returns home triumphant however the cupcake tastes disgusting

I ambled down the footpath, rays of sunlight rippling over my feathers even as the humans obstructed a majority of the sky. Clammy feet brushed against me, the gentle plodding of flip-flops the only sound on the sidewalk, save for the gentle roll of waves. Saturdays were the best for the common seagull, if you ask me. All the food a starving bird wants, even if we have to scavenge it from the leftovers of greasy humans. 

As I flitted over the beach, a glint in the distance caught my eye. A curious squawk escaped from my beak and I hobbled over to catch a glimpse of the sight barricading half the shore.

A birthday party. Or, to the common seabird, a free-for-all. What. A Find.

Rows and rows of extravagant ribbon swathed a glittering pink table, mountains of glistening food piled up to touch the endless sky. Piles of buttered, gleaming fairy bread, oiled sausages and pasties emanating succulent greasy scents and just about every cupcake flavour swarmed the table. It was a wonder all the stout, snotty human kids hadn't inhaled it all already. My tongue watered, and I fluttered up to the table to savour a morsel of pork pie. However, a wave of shrieks made me jolt, and a hand swatted at me. Scrambling away, an indignant screech left me as I craned my neck to search for the source of the loudest scream. 

Even with all that delectable food in my view, it didn't take me long to see who it had come from. A beefy, pig-like human girl shrieked at the head of the table, sobbing at the big humans to 'get it away'. Her pudgy body stretched out her princess dress, its matching crown grasped in a tubby hand as she waved it at me. I sighed, ruffling my feathers. What luck to be born as a being who starves while unable to even have a crumb of warm food all my life. 

More hands outstretched my way. The wails grew louder. I slipped between table legs and human legs as I dove underneath, weaving through shoes and mounds of shimmering gift bags. An opening! I wasted no time in darting out-however I was met with a faceful of taffeta and silk. Spitting fabric out, I looked up at the sight that greeted me.

The birthday girl squealed in terror, flapping her chubby limbs at me as I tried to clamber out. She mistook this as a form of attack, snatching up her cupcake and outstretching her arm. Oh no. Not a fan of cupcake face, I scrabbled out from under the tablecloth. Now in the blazing sunlight, I could get a better view of the cupcake. Moist, rich and glistening with glorious chocolate frosting, my mind immediately changed. A faceful of appetising cake after weeks of starvation would be very nice, thank you-especially when it was gleaming in the sun like that. I swooped up to her and promptly scooped up the wrapper in my beak as I made off. Her hand snatched at me, and my claws struggled in her grip. My straining, along with a large cupcake in my mouth, made my bladder weaken. I could fight the urge no longer. Streaks of chunky white fluid splattered all over her as I wriggled free with the cupcake still in my mouth. Wasting no time, I took flight. And as I turned behind to shoot her a triumphant look, her lip trembled. Her oily, now-stained face turned purple under the splotches of gull urine, and then she burst into tears as I soared off. Seagull-1 Humans-0. Happens every time.